What To Expect From Pinque Pony’s 2014 Sketchfest Show


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In one week (Jan. 10), Pinque Pony makes its Chicago Sketchfest debut. This sure to be the most important thing to happen since Beyonce sampled the Challenger explosion in her XO song.

Chicago Sketchfest, for those who don’t know, is the world’s biggest sketch comedy festival and one hell of a fun time. Pinque Pony, for those who don’t know, is the world’s biggest purveyor of sobbing lady characters played by unshaven men and one hell of a fun time.

But what to expect when you all come see our show? We’re hard at work to make sure it’s the most talked about show not just in Sketchfest history, but human history. Take that, any random episode of Match Game where everyone was tanked.

Here’s what you will see when you see Pinque Pony*:

 

– An accurate recreation of the last musical number of Xanadu, complete with costumes, gold pants and 700 coked-up extras on roller skates

– ¬†Shelley Winters’ reanimated corpse singing the entire Pebbles songbook

– A half-cure for typhoid

– A love letter/hate letter to Broadway legend Mary Martin

– A live narwhal whale that’s confused as fuck

– TV’s Julie Bowen

– A free timpani for every audience member

– Artificial snow-making machines that make the entire set look like a cheap ski resort in southern Wisconsin

Р A short program and a long program, both with a risky triple-axel, double-loop combo

– Festive outerwear

– Finally some Truth being laid down about the possibility of humans living in the upper atmosphere of Venus like some Lando Calrissian sky city bullshit.

– A 4-hour retrospective on Not Another Teen Movie, including Q&A with Maya Angelou

– Glampons

– One single, solitary LeBron James supercock

 

*Only one of these things will probably be in the show. Maybe two.